Disappointments and Addictions

Yes, I have been absent. For a very long time. I know. I do apologize, but will not start dishing out lame excuses. I just have been absent from this little blogging world. So absent, in fact, that Batman suggested the other day that perhaps I should just shut this page down. Oh no!! He is certain that no one reads this. I pointed out that we do still have seven followers. Whether said followers read, well, I can't attest to that, but, they are followers nonetheless. So, the page will remain. Fear not, you seven!!

Because of the ridiculously long absence from blog world, I feel like I don't know where to start. Oh, I have had PLENTY that I could have written... Thoughts, lessons, happenings... But I just... haven't. Plus, I'll admit, the world of Facebook makes it SO EASY to pop a quick thought in my status, and then move on. Not much time or thought or effort required.

Rather than trying to play catch up here, I'd rather just deal with my thoughts for today. Lately I have been dealing/struggling/whatever with my expectations and the many disappointments that we face in life. A person disappointing, or things not turning out the way it was expected, or things not happening fast enough, or at all. I realized, I have allowed disappointment to become an excuse for closing myself off from the things around me. I've allowed disappointment to steal joy. Uh oh. It's not about whether or not I am happy today, or the sun is shining, or things are all falling into place... Because, let's face it, there are days that are NOT happy, are NOT sunny, and things just don't seem to fall into place... according to OUR expectations. (Ok, maybe that should read "MY" instead, but I know there has to be at least one of you that gets that....) So why let it steal my JOY? Hmm... I think my answer is found in this devotional from earlier this month. The moment I read the first sentence, I laughed... and I cried....

ADDICTED

My kind relatives gave me a coffee maker for Christmas {my mother- and father-in-law REALLY did this year!! The first phrase had my attention!}, which is in one sense like giving a heroin addict a syringe and in another like giving a Christian a devotional book and saying, "Here, I know you're going to need this." (Hold on, cowboys: I don't use metaphors lightly.) {Second sentence, equally hooked... I could SO RELATE!!} My family knows I'm addicted to caffeine, which is clear when I go without it it for even one morning. I feel foggy and crabby and get a headache by mid-afternoon. If I'm traveling someplace where coffee isn't on hand for breakfast, it's something of a crisis until I find a drive-through Starbucks or whatever - and then of course there's always a long line of irritated junkies just like me. Sad, really. {I read this to Batman, and told him, "Hey, at least I'm not THAT bad!" He just looked at me. Maybe I am.}

The funny thing about it is I hated coffee for a long time and couldn't understand why people drank the stuff. {Yep, the writer is still referring to ME. I just KNOW it.} It's the kind of thing you have to develop a taste for. It doesn't come naturally, but then when it's finally part of your routine, you'll move mountains to get your hands on it. {Yup!!}

Kind of like spiritual life, when you think about it. We know it's important to spend time every day reading the Bible and praying, but it's not the kind of thing that comes easily to us at first. We have to develop a taste for it. But once we get in the habit of it, life feels out of sorts if we go without it for any length of time. We can't think straight. We feel crabby and start growling at the people we love. Then, when it finally occurs to us what the problem is, we wonder, How could such a tiny ritual be so important? And yet it is. We're not really content again until we've spent some time each day nurturing our spirits with the revitalizing presence of God.

What would happen if I got as addicted to God as I am to coffee? How can I move heaven and earth to carve out time for Him every day?

                                                                                       Psalm 63:1-5

~ The One Year Daily Grind by Sarah Arthur

Um, OUCH? Wonder if that might have something to do with that joy problem. Maybe if I was so addicted to God, disappointment of any sort wouldn't really matter. Because, disappointment IS a guarantee. People WILL let you down. Things will not always work out as planned. But God will never ever ever disappoint. No matter what. I think that is something I need to seal in my heart again.

Lesser Lovers

Recently, God has been speaking to us about our time, our hearts, and our affections. A dear friend was in town and cautioned us about having "lesser lovers." Lesser lovers?!?! What?!

Reading, surfing the net (Facebooking!) racing, keeping "house", etc. - there is nothing wrong with any of these activities, but when they become more important than my time and relationship with God, they are out of order - they are lesser loves. Not one of them is even remotely as worthy as God, but taking my time and attention and affection nonetheless. This morning I picked up my devotions and read this:

Again

I've been reading through the book of judges - or rather, reading a chapter now and then as time and memory allow (you know how it goes) - and recently the opening line of chapter 13 got my attention: "Again the Israelites did evil in the Lord's sight..." It was the again that jumped out at me. Obviously there was a pattern developing there, but I'd been reading the book so slowly that I'd lost track of the thematic thread.

So, I skimmed back through Judges from the beginning and realized what I'd been missing was a phrase that's used over and over to introduce each new episode - "Again the Israelites did evil" (see Judges 3:7, 12; 4:1-2; 6:1; 10:6-8; etc.) - always paired with this curios little phrase: "So the Lord handed them over to [insert enemy here]." This is significant. The point isn't just that the Israelites kept messing up. The point is that every time they did, they lost their freedom.

How many agains are to be encountered in our lives? We turn away, and God steps in and helps us - He brings people into our lives who tell us the truth, for example - and for awhile we repent and attempt to get ourselves on track. But then the material attractions of the world glitter before our eyes, or we receive the attentions of popular people, and before long we are no long interested in spiritual things but start chasing after the things of this world. Again is a lifestyle, an ongoing pattern of resistance to the living God. And it's not without consequences: Sooner or later He turns us over to the things we crave. He hands us over to other masters who do not love us - to what we thought we wanted.

Are material possessions what you're chasing after? Fine, God says - I'll hand you over to those things until you're a modern-day slave trapped in bondage to credit card debt. Is it sexual pleasure that you crave? Okay, God says - I'll hand you over to every indulgence until you can no longer feel anything at all. Or what about romance? Sure, God says - I'll hand you over to another human being until you experience how similar love can be to hatred in the end. Is it popularity you want? Go for it, God says. I'll hand you over to your heroes until you can no longer speak or breath without needing their permission.

And so on and so forth. How many agains are they re to be in my life before I recognize my worthless idols for what they are?

Judges 13:1

Hmm... What in my life is a lesser lover? What is keeping me from taking that time with my King? What is my "again"? Am I so consumed throughout the week with making my house what I feel it should be? Cleaning, or laundry, or dishes, or school work? Other peoples children? Recouping from the weekend for the first half of the week and preparing for the weekend for the second half? What am I allowing to take precedence over that quiet time with the Father? My time to worship, to listen, to feed, to pray, to draw near to His heart?

I don't want any lesser loves in my life. I want "again" to cease being a lifestyle.

Breaking the Silence

You might be wondering where on earth we have been, and even perhaps if we fell off completely. Fear not, we didn't. I've been right here all along, just feeling rather busy. I definitely have the post on what God has been teaching us all ready and written, but Batman said that it really would be better if our "story" was posted first... Then what God has been speaking would be more pertinent... Since this post hasn't been written and ready, I have to admit, I've been avoiding it. Well, no longer! Here I sit, in the quiet, worship music in the background, gathering my thoughts so you can be brought up to date.

It all started on a Friday evening... Friday, April 9, to be exact.... It went something like this:

Bruce - "Hey, there is a racetrack about an hour away from here. They have practice runs all day tomorrow. We should take the boys and see how they do."

Batman - "Yeah, why not? I'll go home and let the wife know and meet up with you in the morning to head up there."

Bruce - "Sweet. See you latta."

Batman (upon returning home, to me) - "Hey, Chub and I are going to take the Boy and the BFF racing tomorrow."

Me - "Oh, ok. How long will you be gone?"

Batman - "I dunno, probably all day."

Me - "That's fine. The Girl and I will be going with you. I refuse to sit home alone every weekend. I know this is just to check it out, but I know where it's going, and we are a family, so we go as a family."

Batman - "Ok, you can go. I'd rather have you with me anyway."

The next morning, we got up and while I gathered everything together at home, Batman ran downtown to do some errands. When he came home, he informed me that the Boy and the BFF had a sponsor. Wait, what?? They haven't even started yet! Cool, God!!! :D We finished packing up and away we went. The boys had a blast and decided that, yes, they did in fact want to start racing officially. We left Silver Springs and returned home, fell into bed, and awoke V.E.R.Y. E.A.R.L.Y. the next morning to return to Silver Springs by 7:00... AM... Ack!! We looked around at all the campers and decided that staying overnight in a camper really was the way to go... But we didn't have a camper.

That afternoon the brother was at the track watching the Boy race, and commented that we should get a camper. My response was along the lines of not being able to buy one, someone would have to have to give me one. Hear that, God? The next evening, I called him to tell him that in the morning I would be picking up my camper... that had been given to us. Hmmm.... Reason number 7,098,234,987,987,001 why I know God hears my every thought and word.

Batman has wanted to race all of his life, but his parents didn't have the money to put him in it. Since the Boy was an official racer, Batman was REALLY feeling the itch. He hopped on craigslist and found a motorcycle to race... The kid selling it was willing to trade it for a car. Batman had a car that he didn't need or use anymore... Hmmm..... They were in contact with each other and set up a time to meet. He loved the bike and the kid loved the car. Away we went with the bike in the back and we signed Batman up the following weekend.

In order to race, you need riding boots and jersey and pants and chest protector. A friend of ours handed Batman a jersey and pant set. (WHAT?!?!) We found boots and a chest protector for great prices (at first he was borrowing his cousin's). Our whole racing adventure has been a series of things just like that... Sometimes a very big deal to us, and other times something small yet still very tangible. Throughout this journey, we have prayed for God's guidance, direction, and protection, for Him to continue to open the doors if this was the right direction, and to shut it right down if it wasn't. It's good to know when you are on the right track. :)

Climbing on top of the pile of straw

When one straw falls on you, it is no big deal, but what about when the next one falls, and the next, and the next? Eventually, you can find yourself buried under a pile of straw. One piece is lightweight and small - no big deal, but if you don't brush off and essentially conquer that one piece as it falls, you have the possibility of being buried under it all. Once your are under the pile rather than on top of it, getting back on top can feel like such an insurmountable task. I know. I feel it all too often.

Thankfully, in this great big blog world, encouragement and helpful tools can be found. One blog-buddy has encouraged me and given me helpful tips and ideas, and kept me entertained as well with her own stories of KCF - otherwise known as Kitchen Combat Fatigue. Problem number one - I D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y. had KCF. No doubt about it. I firmly believe that you don't have to be an expecting mom to get it. Not even a homeschooling mom. Hey, you probably don't even need to be a mom, or even a homemaker, or married to get Kitchen Combat Fatigue. I imagine that ANYONE that actually COOKS in their kitchen can easily get it. But enough about the requirements. I was worn out, frustrated and downright discouraged in my kitchen. I am not naive enough to think that as soon as our kitchen remodel project is finished, those frustrating feelings will magically disappear. I needed to reevaluate and reassess the goings-on in my kitchen.

Problem number two: I have such a hard time with jobs that you do once (yes, this is an issue in the kitchen as well, but for this part, we are covering the rest of the house), and then no later than the end of the day, you have to do the same job over! Solution one? Buy disposable clothes, and locate a self cleaning bathroom and a robot vacuum cleaner. Back to the real world, though. I am a person of FANTASTIC intentions and plans. Oh yes. I can make a list for anything, make a schedule and hang up a chart for anything, but if I am not remaining on TOP of the little pieces of straw, those lists, schedules and charts do me no good at all. I also have a very difficult time thinking OUTSIDE the box. I think that is why my schedules and plans and charts ALWAYS look the same and ALWAYS end up failing me. Or maybe I am failing them. I am great at the start, but then I falter. Hmm... What is that verse about running the race with perseverance? Yeah...

Spring cleaning "season" has helped me dig out from under the pile, but the last thing I want is Fall to roll around (or worse yet, next Spring) and some of those jobs that are done rarely are back on the list of things that REALLY need to get done, but I am frustrated because they R.E.A.L.L.Y. needed to get done a long time ago. I'd rather just stay consistent with all of it, but is cleaning my ENTIRE living room from the ceiling to the floor and EVERYTHING in-between every Monday really feasible? Not if I intend to cook, do dishes and laundry, and attend to school needs that day as well, it isn't. And I KNOW this, but really, I would LOVE to have my living room - and the dining room - be cleaned that way every single Monday. Then the bathroom on Tuesday, the kitchen on Wednesdays, bedrooms on Thursdays and the bathroom again on Friday. That isn't too much to require of myself, is it? Maybe not if it was a quick dust job, run the vacuum, and make sure everything is straightened, but, I tend to be an all or nothing person. We are either going 100mph or standing still - which is also something I need to work on - slow and steady wins that race. Because I can't keep up that schedule on my terms, I started looking around for not only encouragement because I was honestly feeling like such a failure as a wife and mom, but I needed ideas on how to fix it as well. One day I was visiting Sarah's page and came across her post on how she keeps a clean house. I followed the link she provided and went ahead and grabbed my very own Motivated Moms schedule. (See, I told you I'm a sucker for schedules.) Why did I grab yet ANOTHER schedule? Thinking Outside The Box, people out of the box. See, I can Spring Clean and organize and perfect like nobody's business, but keeping it all together and not getting discouraged or worn out with the day to day maintaining is where I lose it. This new perspective was part of what I needed. (You mean to tell me I don't have to clean the entire room that day? Really??)

The last problem? I'll admit it. Lack of sunshine. This girl desperately needs the sun, and by the time winter is winding down, a few good days of sunny, warm brightness do wonders for my winter blues funk.

So, here I am, on top of my pile of straw. I will continue to put one foot in front of the other, and with the help of The Son, I will "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let (me) run with perseverance the race marked out for (me)." ~ Hebrews 12:1

Adventures with The Boy

Have I ever said life was dull? No? Didn't think so. Over the last week, the weather has been so accommodating, so The Boy has been able to take his motorcycle out and about. After returning home from a very nice afternoon spent with Grandma and Grandpa, the Aunt, Uncle and cousins and the other Uncles, The Boy got together with his counterpart to go riding. After all, racing season will be upon us soon (next month?!?) and the boys need to practice up.

Around and around they went, engines roaring. First one boy was in front, then the other, then back again. The Boy's best bud went through, then the best bud's cousin. We all looked back up the hill and waited. No Boy. I glanced toward the back of the hill where The Boy should have come down and then around and saw a red clad arm pop up. "He's down!" I cried to Batman. Immediately all the momma-bear instinct in me rose up, while the level head in Daddy instructed me to stay put. He was going for him. See, Daddy knows me all too well. He is completely aware of the fact that I am a competent EMT, but he also knows full well that when it comes to the littles, "Mommy" comes first, and there would be no such thing as a level head. I remained down at the house with our friend, staring up at the hill. M smiled and told me it was ok, Daddy and the Best Bud's daddy were up there. I quickly responded that was great, but it was completely against my nature to stay away. That's my baby up there! The Girl then piped up and informed me that The Boy isn't exactly a baby. Ah, to explain again that no matter how old they are, they will always be my babies and I will always love them and want to protect and shield them and make everything all right. She'll get it someday. :)

When the entourage made it's way down to the house, I pounced. I knew that Daddy had undoubtedly checked every single finger and toe and everything in between, but now it was my turn. After ensuring that nothing was broken, I pulled out the light and checked his eyes. Two beautiful brown eyes. Check. Pupils reacting and equal. Check. We said goodbye to the guys and took The Boy inside and deposited him on the couch.

Suddenly, he began repeating the same phrase OVER and OVER and OVER. We would tell him that he just told us that - ten times - and his response was, "oh, that is probably a problem." Pause. "I had a dream. It was all a dream." *deep breath in. and out.* Boy, you told us that. Ten seconds ago. "I did? I don't remember." Pause. "I had a dream..." Ack! To the car. We knew he had a concussion, but with the repetition, we weren't going to play around. Down to the ER we went. Again.

By the time we got down there, The Boy's head seemed to be on straight again, but getting checked out was still a good idea. Dr. R was on - the same one The Boy saw for his lip, so of course, he was immediately harassed. We promised that this time his helmet had been On. His. Head. The Boy was handed one of those very attractive dresses hospital gowns to wear for the duration. He was checked head to toe again and thumbs up were given. He looked fantastic and was sounding like himself again, but it was one of those "better safe than sorry deals." Afterbreaking his helmet, not remembering a good half-an-hour to forty-five minutes long chunk of time and repeating himself, a scan was definitely in order, so, we sat back to wait for the CAT scan tech.



While we waited, we finally got to the bottom of "the dream." It seems that a month ago or so, The Boy dreamt that he and the Best Bud were out riding and he wrecked and hurt his head. He said that right before he went up the hill, he remembered the dream, but thought that was a funny thing to remember - everything was fine. Hmm... Didn't we JUST talk about this in church that very day? Why, yes, we did! It's all about learning to listen (and follow) that still small voice. We told him that if something like that ever happened again, by all means, LISTEN! That was God speaking into his ear and warning him.

The tech came in and took The Boy away, and we waited. He was brought back after what felt like hours in short order. We were given two thumbs up once again, signed the release papers, and made our way home.

The results of the CAT scan?

Kitty says he's just fine. Incidentally, so do the doctors.

We kept him up until after two in the morning (not supposed to let them sleep for a few/several hours with a concussion), so this morning he is understandably tired.

Other than that, he is no worse for the wear and is ready to jump back on the bike. 'Atta boy. I guess. Helmet? Check. Riding boots? Check. Every.Single.Other. piece of riding equipment? Check. I know one mommy that is quite grateful for the hand of God and for helmets, chest protectors, neck braces, riding gloves, pants and boots. And for a level headed and caring daddy. And for the protecting hand of God. I mentioned that one already? Sorry, I figured it was worth mentioning again. :)

Thought for the day...

"There is no one so good that he can save himself;
Neither is there any so bad that God cannot save him."

~ Unknown

What is that sound?

A few days ago, I was driving down the road with The Girl and The Baby. I had errands to run and couldn't very well leave The Baby at home, so he had to tag along. For the sake of a quick trip, The Girl joined us so she could sit in the van and occupy The Baby while I ran into the bank. As I drove, I heard the sweetest little baby belly laugh. Every parent and big sister or brother or aunt or uncle out there knows the one. That darling, infectious, innocent laugh. All The Girl was doing was playing peek-a-boo with The Baby, but he loved it, and giggled with pleasure.

Today while visiting my parents, we were all in the kitchen talking about a kitchen.... mishap... and the laughter started. Something silly and random was said, and the three of us just laughed and laughed.

This laughter prompted a thought: How much laughter is in your home? Is laughter a normal sound or is it foreign to your ears? I realized how important laughter is and how, sometimes, we might take it for granted. Laugh a little today, even at the simplest and smallest things. While you laugh, remember the Source of our joy. Even in the midst of a tough day, we have that joy and laughter.  Remember, the joy of the Lord is our strength.

Psalm 126:1-3

A song of ascents.

When the LORD brought back the captives to [a] Zion,
we were like men who dreamed. [b]
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.


Job 8:20-22 (New International Version)

"Surely God does not reject a blameless man
or strengthen the hands of evildoers.
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.
Your enemies will be clothed in shame,
and the tents of the wicked will be no more."

I've Been Slapped

Recently I came across a devotional on All You Have to Give. Fascinated by what Lori had to say about it, I opened up the excerpt she had at the bottom of her post. And I was sucked in. I'm great at starting, I'll admit it, but oh, the follow-through... It gets me every time. What makes this time different? I don't know. I do know I'll keep plugging away until I get it right.

The same day I saw it on Lori's page, I went on various sites and found my very own copy for just a couple bucks (yep, you read that right!!), including shipping. Each day I pop back over to Lori's page, open the excerpt and read the next day's (or two) devotional, while I am impatiently waiting for my own to arrive via media mail. What I read today struck such a chord with me, that I thought I'd share it with all of you. A little food for thought. While you are reading, I think I am going to go carve out some time for Him.

(Excerpt taken from The One Year Daily Grind by Sarah Arthur)

JANUARY 5
Addicted

My kind relatives gave me a coffeemaker for Christmas, which is in one sense like giving a
heroin addict a syringe and in another like giving a Christian a devotional book and saying,
“Here, I know you’re gonna need this.” (Hold on, cowboys: I don’t use metaphors lightly.)
My family knows I’m addicted to caffeine, which is clear when I go without it for even
one morning. I feel foggy and crabby and get a headache by midafternoon. If I’m traveling
someplace where coffee isn’t on hand for breakfast, it’s something of a crisis until I find a
drive-through Starbucks or whatever—and then of course there’s always a long line of irritated
junkies just like me. Sad, really.

The funny thing about it is I hated coffee for a long time and couldn’t understand
why people drank the stuff. It’s the kind of thing you have to develop a taste for. It doesn’t
come naturally, but then when it’s finally part of your routine, you’ll move mountains to
get your hands on it.

Kind of like the spiritual life, when you think about it. We know it’s important to
spend time every day reading the Bible and praying, but it’s not the kind of thing that
comes easily to us at first. We have to develop a taste for it. But once we get in the habit
of it, life feels out of sorts if we go without it for any length of time. We can’t think
straight. We feel crabby and start growling at the people we love. Then when it finally
occurs to us what the problem is, we wonder, How could such a tiny ritual be so important?
And yet it is. We’re not really content again until we’ve spent some time each day
nurturing our spirits with the revitalizing presence of God.
What would happen if I got as addicted to God as I am to coffee? How can I move
heaven and earth to carve out time for him every day?

Psalm 63:1-5

Hmm....

Good timing, maybe?

So, lately, God has really been speaking to me about my place and position in our home, and my attitude towards it. I so desperately want to be a Proverbs 31 wife, mother, and child of God, but SO OFTEN feel myself falling way below the mark. Maybe some of you feel the same. I had to smile when I popped over to a friend's blog to see what she had to offer for the day, and I read about this giveaway. Knowing that this book would be encouragement in the right direction for how God has been speaking to me prompted me to immediately go sign up! Now I'm giving you guys (well, girls) the same opportunity. :) Go on over to Passionate Homemaking to see the giveaway for yourself, and sign up if you're interested.

In the meantime, I'll keep running after the prize, and continue to serve my family as an act of worship. Someday I'll get it just right. :)

The Desert

There are moments, days, weeks, maybe that feel like a barren desert. There are times when it seems like every single thing is crashing down around, that everything is against you. Then there are times high on the mountain top, when everything can be seen clearly. No matter what time, what season, what situation, I still cling to the knowledge and the hope that He is still God. Always in control. Holding me in the pain, carrying me through the hard times, and laughing with me through the good times.

Desert Song
(Hillsong United)

 

This is my prayer in the desert

When all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in my hunger and need

My God is the God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle

When triumph is still on it's way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest

When favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be emptied again

The seed I've received I will sow

Today I declare that I WILL bring praise. I WILL rejoice. God is still God and I will always have a reason to sing and to worship.

Ponderings

The baby is fussing. He is tired, but his bed is currently occupied by Batman (well, it's Batman's bed, but Boo sleeps there when he's here...) and he is not interested in falling asleep on the couch. So instead, I hold him. Rubbing his head and his ears, I watch him as his eyes get heavy and close, and I begin to ponder.



Jesus, what were You like when You were a baby? When You were tired, did your mother hold you while you fell asleep or did she lay You down in Your bed, kiss Your forehead, and walk away? Could she bear to put You down and walk away? Did your lashes sweep down on Your cheeks as you slept or were they short little wisps that didn't reach Your cheeks? Did Your hair stick up in silky spikes all over, or were You bald til You were two? Was Your tiny fist curled around Mary's thumb, or was Your hand open and relaxed while You slept? Did Your mother know the unspeakable joys and sorrows that she would experience as the mother of our Savior, or did she just relish the joy and the beauty of You? At six months old, were people stopping to look and coo at You because You were a baby (and everyone loves babies) or were You already drawing people to Yourself?

Just wondered.

The Reason

There is less than two weeks left until Christmas, and I look at my list of things that I still need to get done and sigh.

♦ Cookies:

◊ Grandma’s press cookies
◊ Chocolate peppermint cookies
◊ Peanut butter blossoms (We ate all the ones that mom sent home on Friday. Yes, we’re lushes sometimes. Yes, they were very tasty.)
◊ ANOTHER batch of Mrs. O’s sugar cookies. VERY important

♦ Make cookie trays from said cookies + the cookies that we already did on Friday (the ones that actually lasted the weekend around here…)
♦ Deliver said cookie trays to K&K, Carquest, H-city fire department (for all their help – technically it’s from us, but it is F-town Fire Department’s “thank you”)
♦ Christmas cards
♦ Pick up and wrap remaining presents from mom’s house
♦ Put together gifts for Batman’s family
♦ Learn song to do with the brothers for the Christmas program on Sunday
♦ Get ahold of the brother with the idea to find out what song it is – again. (Ahem, Z, if you’re reading… I, uh, needtoberemindedofwhatsongwearedoing. I am pretty sure that text message has been erased. Oops.)

Then I take a breath and remember something that Aunt Pat posted on Rachel's page the other day: (in a nutshell) It isn't about the project, it is about the relationship.

It isn't about all of those things that I "need" to get done. It is about the relationships that I build in the meantime. And most of all, it is about our Savior. Not the cookies, not the presents, not even the snow. This is a time to reflect on Him, and thank Him for the ultimate gift: His Son, and therefore, Life.

Being Thankful

It is Thanksgiving week, and most people are turning their thoughts towards things they are thankful for. My question, though, is this: Why is it that we are only focusing on being thankful for one day or one week out of the year? Our pastor has addressed the issue of being thankful in all things (and therefore having the right attitude) over the past two weeks. This is an area that God had been pricking our hearts in to begin with, and, with Pastor's input, the pricks have gotten a little stronger. I find it fascinating that I can pick out ungratefulness or general attitudes of cynicism in others, but so often don't see or hear my own. That is, until my children - you know, the same kind of mini recorders you might have in your own home - open their mouths. How can I expect my kids to have the right attitude when they hear me being ungrateful or cynical? No, things do not always go my way, but what happened to being thankful in all things? Hmm... Ouch.

The Girl has been getting growing pains lately, and while I feel very bad for her - I experienced them myself very often when I was younger - I am also reminded that as adults, we still get them. It is not fun to hear your pastor speak and "hit the nail on the head" two Sundays in a row. I am not overly fond of wanting to squirm in church. It is not overly fun knowing that the pricking I feel in my soul is the work of God, growing me, and requiring more of me. Despite the discomfort, with all of my heart I want to be more and more Christlike every day. So I will take the pricking, and I will surrender to my Lord, and I will grow. Retraining is in order, and I will follow the advice of Paul in Philippians 4:

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Phil 4:4-8, NLT

"Grumble and Complain" are not part of the instructions there. Instead, I think that the above verses are at least part of the picture of the Fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 NLT says,

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience (NIV reads longsuffering) [I'm not being very patient - or longsuffering - if I can't be thankful], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"

This week, as everyone around us is focusing on being thankful, we will begin retraining ourselves in our home. Becoming more thankful and longsuffering in our own lives, and passing it on to our children.

The Speed Wobble

It was a beautiful day when we were driving down the Gulf Coast in Mississippi. I looked ahead and saw my husband on his motorcycle, his front tire wobbling. Shaking my head and rolling my eyes, I muttered something about him messing around. Later, when we arrived at our destination, he mentioned how he momentarily panicked when his bike went into what is commonly called a "speed wobble" after he brought it down out of a wheelie and he was unable to stop it. He replayed how he had stiffened up and fought to control his motorcycle, knowing he was headed for a certain crash. Striving to regain control, something filtered through his brain and he heard it: "Just relax." Relax?!?! Seriously?! But he remembered hearing about the natural reaction to fight the wobble and try to bring the motorcycle under control, but the RIGHT reaction is to just relax, and the bike would correct itself. So he fought his nature and did just that. He let go of the handlebars and just completely relaxed his body, relinquishing even the remotest possibility of control over his motorcycle. Amazingly, the front wheel straightened and the bike was back on the "straight and narrow course" that he was previously driving.

This memory has been cycling through my mind lately. The sparkling water on the right, the broken and battered buildings and vegetation on the left. My husband fighting to remain in control in front of me. His words recounting how he let go, no longer trying to control his course....

Can you tell where I am going with this?

It amazes me that God remains so patient with us, tapping our shoulder, nudging us and reminding us of the right way.... Oh, how long it takes me to get it sometimes! I've been remembering Batman's story of learning to let go in the physical while God has been teaching us and reminding us and prompting us to let go in the spiritual. How many times do we fight and strive to remain - or regain - control of our lives, heading for certain destruction, when the right answer is to relinquish control to the One who can really handle it? Batman and I finally got it. It's time to let go. Guess what? The bike lined right up, and we're back on the straight and narrow course we started on. Is your bike in a speed wobble? Are you headed for a guaranteed wreck? Let go of the handle bars. Relax. Let God take control.

What is it?

There has been a devotional sitting on the end table for a couple months now (thanks, M), silently beckoning me into a deeper study and pursuit. I have put it off, with varying excuses ranging from, "I'm too tired today. I'll start tomorrow," (and we all "tomorrow" never comes) to "I don't think I have it in me right now." Today I picked up the devotional and set aside my worries, fears, and short-comings. Why? The devotional is "The Pursuit of Holiness" and frankly, holiness is something that I have struggled with forever, it seems. I know that God calls us to holiness, but it often seems so unattainable. And in this quest to be holy, will I acquire a "holier-than-thou" attitude and put people off rather than draw them in? Absolutely... if it is holiness of my own works and doings rather than God working in me. God demands holiness of us, though, so, HOW?

One of the questions in the devotional asked for the definition of holiness in my own words. Would this follow in a dictionary? I don't know, but I do know that this was God's little insight into my soul for this journey.

Holiness is simply this: It is being so close with God that His character rubs off on us rather than the character of everything around us. It's that simple. It is not a super-formula I need to figure out and follow. It is not a series of actions and reactions to magically become holier. If I, in my own strength, try to be holy, then yes, I absolutely will have that "holier-than-thou" attitude and repulse people. But if it is God's work in me, that righteous and holiness will be real, and it will in turn draw people to Him and be that shining light.

Leviticus 19:2 says "Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: 'Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy." Holiness is a commandment from God. It is not optional. Are you up for the challenge?

Promises

I love how God is always so timely. Whether it is a reminder, or a word of encouragement, or a little (much needed sometimes) nudge, He is always right on time. And He always fulfills His promises and does what He said He'll will do... in HIS perfect time. So, in case you are in need of any reminders today too, I thought I'd share our verses for the day and the view we had at one of the kids' soccer games recently. Ah, the ultimate reminder of God's sovereignty, faithfulness and promises.



And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. If you love me, you will obey what I command.

John 14:13-15 NIV

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And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

James 5:15,16 KJV

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And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.

1 John 3:22,23 KJV

For they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them. Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.

Isaiah 65:23b,24 NIV

__________________

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:12,13 NIV

__________________

They will call on My name,
And I will answer them;

I will say,
"They are My people,'

And they will say,
"The LORD is my God.'

Zechariah 13:9 NASB

The Wait

It seems that all around me my friends are in the midst of the same lesson I am: The Wait. Some of us our throwing ourselves at the feet of God and crying out, "Rescue me!!" Others have a heart's desire and are ready to see if fulfilled NOW, while still others would like to see certain things lined up and doors opened. Different scenarios, but the the same lesson: learning to wait on God's perfect timing and perfect plan. Learning that His ways are much higher and better than our own, and if we could just see it the way He sees it, we would be patient for sure. But that isn't the point of the lesson, is it? Rather, what we need to learn is to patiently wait even though we don't see the big picture. To sit back and trust Him to complete the work in His timing, and know that it will be far more glorifying to Him and perfect when He does it His way rather than ours. So, today I have the following song by John Waller playing on repeat as I go about my day. I wanted to share it with you, my fellow waitees. I'm sorry, you'll have to deal with the lyrics alone. I will not be singing it to you via the blog, for a variety of reasons. Stand strong, dear friends. Wait patiently, and remember that our Abba Father has our best interests at heart, and in the end, it will be perfect and the glory will be all His.

While I'm Waiting
John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Beyond Faithful

Have you ever found yourself feeling like you are just "going through the motions," stuck in a rut that you just cannot seem to get out of, despite the desire to do so? Perhaps you may have wondered if your prayers are hitting the ceiling and bouncing right back down only to be heard by your own ears? Maybe you have found yourself so far from that thing we call holiness that you are sure God must have turned His back, ashamed to look your way? It may not be actions keeping you so far away, but a matter of the heart.

No? No one has felt that way? Oh. Well, I know I have, far too many times. It isn't even always an action issue, but the condition of my heart that causes the problem. Then, of course, because I know just how black my heart can be, just how horrid my attitude has been, and the viciousness of my thoughts, my own head begins to list off all of the reasons that God should not and will not hear my pleas anymore. Or is it my own mind? Perhaps Satan sees those weaknesses in me as well, and takes that opportunity to whisper those lies into my ear. The lie that God will not listen. The lie that God does not care. The lie that God has turned His back on me.

So, once again, I throw myself at the feet of God, pleading for forgiveness and for Him to cleanse me, to renew me. I spend time in prayer - something that is so simple yet many times seems so difficult. Then I dry my tears, and come out of my room and sit at the computer to check our emails. Rather than checking the daily comic strip, I go to the daily Bible verses first. A step in the right direction. My ever-faithful heavenly Daddy has, once again, heard my cries, and in His ultimate goodness, speaks to my heart. Our verses for the day are these:

God is Gracious and Forgiving
So Repent... Turn from Sin


This is why it is said:
"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

Be very careful, then, how you live-
not as unwise but as wise,
making the most of every opportunity,
because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be foolish,
but understand what the Lord's will is.

Ephesians 5:14-17 NIV


Repent, then, and turn to God,
so that your sins may be wiped out,
that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,

Acts 3:19 NIV



Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off - for all whom the Lord our God will call."

Acts 2:38,39 NIV


I am again amazed at God's faithfulness despite my utter lack thereof. Now this song by Kari Jobe is playing throughout our house:

Come to me, you weary one.
And I will give you rest.
I will give you rest.
Come to me, you weary one.
And I will give you rest.
I will give you rest.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Take me upon you, I will give you rest.

Come to me, you broken one.
And I will give you peace.
I will give you peace.
Come to me, you broken one.
And I will give you peace.
I will give you peace.
I will calm your waters, and I will whisper,
"Peace be still."
Take me upon you, I will give you peace.

Come to me, you burdened one.
And I will give you joy.
I will give you joy.
Come to me, you burdened one.
And I will give you joy.
I will give you joy.
You will rise like eagles, and my joy will be your strength.
Take me upon you, I will give you joy.


Come to me
I have been waiting for you here.
He has been waiting for you here.
Come. Come to Him.
Come and find your peace.
Come and find your rest.
Come and find your joy.
He is waiting here for you.
He is waiting here for you with open arms,
To hold you, to embrace your heart, to love you.
He is waiting here.

If you ever feel the way I have been feeling lately, run to Him. That voice whispering in your ear that God is not listening or that His back is turned is an absolute lie. God is beyond faithful.

Celebrate

With all the layoffs and "voluntary leave of absences" at work I thought this was so apropos. It's a good reminder to keep the right attitude and chin up and continue to trust God. Plus it's cute. :)

The Red Sea

I've heard a story a time or two of a people who were in bondage. This people cried out to God and He sent a deliverer for them. This deliverer went to their captor and asked him nicely to release the people. First he said yes, then he said no. God pushed the captors buttons and he changed his mind again. As soon as God left the captor alone again, he changed his mind again. This happened several times when finally, the captor had enough. God killed the captor's firstborn son, and the people were out of there! They traveled quite a ways with God's guidance and suddenly found themselves between a rock and a hard place. Or rather, between their former captor's very angry army and a impassable sea. This people began to grumble and complain to and about their deliverer and told him that they would have been better off if he had left them in captivity. "Who cares what God promised?? Look where we are now!" Yet, in this peoples darkest hour, God stepped in and parted that sea, and the people crossed over dry land into safety. Their former captor's army tried to follow, only to drown in the sea that God was no longer parting.

Yes, that is an old Bible story, but is God any different now? I don't think so. Are you in captivity now, waiting for God to send your deliverance? He's sending it. Or were you in captivity and enjoying your freedom only to find yourself in what feels like your darkest hour? "God, what happened? And things were going so well! Now look!! I'm backed up against this roiling sea and my enemy is coming in fast!" Ah, but God is there. We may not always see it. We may not even always feel it. In the middle of the storm or the fight, there are times we cannot see the end. But God sees. God knows. And He will always fulfill His promises. ALWAYS. I don't care how dark it is. Chin up. Your deliverer is coming.

My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by....
My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by...
He will never break His promise, He has written it across the sky!
My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by...

My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by....
My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by...
He will never break His promise, though the sun should break faith with
the sky!
My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by...


I will never doubt His promise, though I doubt my heart, though I doubt
my mind!
My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by!

~ Rich Mullens


"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge" Psalms 18:2