Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Score

Twas the first day of hunting season, and all through the woods,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a deer... (too much rain).

The guns were all loaded and licenses displayed
In hopes of bagging the ultimate prize.

The hunters were all nestled snug in their blinds,
While visions of wall mounts and tenderloin danced in their heads
And momma in her fuzzy slippers and Batman in his camo
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap
When momma looked up at the clock and gasped
"Get out there and try again! We've six tags to fill!!"
Batman sprang from the couch and out the door he ran,
In to the truck he went, and away like a flash.
And to momma's wondering ears should ring,

The cell phone and Batman's voice on the other end,
"Honey, I'll be just a while,
Two deer I have killed,
I'll be home when I'm through."

As darkness fell, Batman pulled in the drive,
Smiling proudly as he showed off his fresh kill.
He and the boy set out to work,
A place to hang the deer had to be built.
When the pounding and sawing came to an end,
Batman stuck his head in the door and announced,
"Momma, I need your help here.
The little one there, I hung him up with ease,
But the bigger one here,
She's too big for just me."
So momma and the boy each grabbed a front leg
While Batman grabbed the hindquarters and started to climb the ladder.
One second he was up, with the deer almost hung,
Then next second he was down on the ground.
Such awful sounds came from him.
A great big scream and a laugh.
Momma knew what a laugh meant with pain,
So she tried to bully him in to the doctor right then.
Batman would hear nothing of the sort,
Instead, went to bed and did not sleep for the pain.
The next evening Batman's foot looked bad,
Like a football with Vienna sausages stuck on one end.
Momma finally won then,
To the hospital they did go to get it checked out.
Doc R. wanted to know, why the wait?
Thanks, Batman, for trying to tough it out,
But you are broken for sure,
And need help now!
A soft cast for the night,
Then to the orthopedic in the morning.
He will have to give you an ok before you can work, you know.
Doc H. was so helpful, and patched him up tight,
With a new blue cast, he can work alright.

One week later and it back to Doc H.
For the first cast was breaking,
A red one this time, please.
Here's hoping Batman gets better soon,
And that Bambi's daddy won't be out to get him, too.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!

Batman: 2
Bambi's mommy: 2 (one point per "permanent" cast)


mira said...

ha! well-written, I definitely laughed out loud.

j-poor guy. at least you will eat well from your invalid's chair...

Anonymous said...

well i wish i could sit in my chair but my 2nd cast is breaking too

Dan said...

score reassessed. Deer will only be awarded half points for casts. Full points will be awarded for kills.
Deer: 1

Anonymous said...

He who has the GUN has the last say. God did'nt make men equal Colt 45 did! one of my fav quote BatMan

Dan said...

haha, one of my fav quotes is "you can get a lot more with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word. I think this was Al Capone. Whoever, I like it.

Bug and Eye said...

hey, on the bright side at least you got to eat her after she broke you...mmm tenderloin......
miss you guys!

Melanie said...

that's a fantastic story... love it. :) Sorry bout the foot!