Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Disappointments and Addictions

Yes, I have been absent. For a very long time. I know. I do apologize, but will not start dishing out lame excuses. I just have been absent from this little blogging world. So absent, in fact, that Batman suggested the other day that perhaps I should just shut this page down. Oh no!! He is certain that no one reads this. I pointed out that we do still have seven followers. Whether said followers read, well, I can't attest to that, but, they are followers nonetheless. So, the page will remain. Fear not, you seven!!

Because of the ridiculously long absence from blog world, I feel like I don't know where to start. Oh, I have had PLENTY that I could have written... Thoughts, lessons, happenings... But I just... haven't. Plus, I'll admit, the world of Facebook makes it SO EASY to pop a quick thought in my status, and then move on. Not much time or thought or effort required.

Rather than trying to play catch up here, I'd rather just deal with my thoughts for today. Lately I have been dealing/struggling/whatever with my expectations and the many disappointments that we face in life. A person disappointing, or things not turning out the way it was expected, or things not happening fast enough, or at all. I realized, I have allowed disappointment to become an excuse for closing myself off from the things around me. I've allowed disappointment to steal joy. Uh oh. It's not about whether or not I am happy today, or the sun is shining, or things are all falling into place... Because, let's face it, there are days that are NOT happy, are NOT sunny, and things just don't seem to fall into place... according to OUR expectations. (Ok, maybe that should read "MY" instead, but I know there has to be at least one of you that gets that....) So why let it steal my JOY? Hmm... I think my answer is found in this devotional from earlier this month. The moment I read the first sentence, I laughed... and I cried....

My kind relatives gave me a coffee maker for Christmas {my mother- and father-in-law REALLY did this year!! The first phrase had my attention!}, which is in one sense like giving a heroin addict a syringe and in another like giving a Christian a devotional book and saying, "Here, I know you're going to need this." (Hold on, cowboys: I don't use metaphors lightly.) {Second sentence, equally hooked... I could SO RELATE!!} My family knows I'm addicted to caffeine, which is clear when I go without it it for even one morning. I feel foggy and crabby and get a headache by mid-afternoon. If I'm traveling someplace where coffee isn't on hand for breakfast, it's something of a crisis until I find a drive-through Starbucks or whatever - and then of course there's always a long line of irritated junkies just like me. Sad, really. {I read this to Batman, and told him, "Hey, at least I'm not THAT bad!" He just looked at me. Maybe I am.}

The funny thing about it is I hated coffee for a long time and couldn't understand why people drank the stuff. {Yep, the writer is still referring to ME. I just KNOW it.} It's the kind of thing you have to develop a taste for. It doesn't come naturally, but then when it's finally part of your routine, you'll move mountains to get your hands on it. {Yup!!}
Kind of like spiritual life, when you think about it. We know it's important to spend time every day reading the Bible and praying, but it's not the kind of thing that comes easily to us at first. We have to develop a taste for it. But once we get in the habit of it, life feels out of sorts if we go without it for any length of time. We can't think straight. We feel crabby and start growling at the people we love. Then, when it finally occurs to us what the problem is, we wonder, How could such a tiny ritual be so important? And yet it is. We're not really content again until we've spent some time each day nurturing our spirits with the revitalizing presence of God.
What would happen if I got as addicted to God as I am to coffee? How can I move heaven and earth to carve out time for Him every day?
                                                                                       Psalm 63:1-5
~ The One Year Daily Grind by Sarah Arthur

Um, OUCH? Wonder if that might have something to do with that joy problem. Maybe if I was so addicted to God, disappointment of any sort wouldn't really matter. Because, disappointment IS a guarantee. People WILL let you down. Things will not always work out as planned. But God will never ever ever disappoint. No matter what. I think that is something I need to seal in my heart again.


mira said...

uh huh. entire post could have been written by me, a few different times.

wish we lived closer...

Mrs. Guthrie said...

tell me about it........ :/

Sheena said...

me, too, I completely relate to this post.

I thought you two did live near each other??

Anyway, welcome back to blogging. =) great post.

Trina said...

I'm right there with you. it's truly amazing the difference when I start my day with Christ. why I don't do it more often, I have no idea...

Traci said...


And also, I'm still reading!!!