Today

I posted this today on our homeschool page, and while not all of you are homeschoolers, perhaps this will help anyway. I don't generally post the same thing to both, but I wanted to put this here in case it might mean anything to anyone.

I came to a realization today - or, maybe not a realization, because this is all stuff I have known for a long time, but today I came to a decision, perhaps? Neither word is EXACTLY what I want to use, but both fit. Maybe you will be able to relate.

There are so many areas in my life where I am not "where I want to be." I want to read my Bible more. I want to pray more. I want to be more organized and disciplined. I want to keep that schedule that I keep "making" with the kids... but I don't. What kind of mother is that? What kind of passionate follower of Jesus us that? Not a good one... Just do those things then, you may say. So easy to say, but harder to do. Perhaps the problem is that I look at the whole thing. I want to change so much and do so many things differently or better and then it all seems almost overwhelming. I keep getting off to fantastic starts, but then I mess up a little and feel like everything is shot to pieces and then get discouraged and jump off the bandwagon. Time goes by and the fire under my butt gets lit again and I get another great start. Only to continue in the same cycle. So, why do I have to give up when I mess up? Perhaps the whole task seems too daunting? Maybe I am relying too much on my own merit? I am sure that is part of it, anyway. Is the task of passing it all to God to "difficult"? I wonder if it would be different if I looked at it from another angle...

I realized that if I just focus on TODAY, it isn't so big. If TODAY I give my struggles to God, if TODAY I get in my Bible and pray, if TODAY I work on being organized and timely, well, then, tomorrow is tomorrow. Today has enough for itself. Today I can concentrate on the things I want to fix, and if I only worry about getting it right today, it isn't too big. Tomorrow will come, and it will be "today" and I can continue to focus on today and keep trying to get it right. Without getting discouraged. Without "falling off the bandwagon." Without feeling like I should just give up because it is all too much for me to change anyway.

Is there something in your life that seems daunting? Something you want to do differently in your personal life or in teaching your kids or in your walk with God or in a relationship with someone else? Did Peach's post about our "wants" stir something in you? Or maybe you related to Nan's Motherhood Martyr post? Focus on today... There is a verse in Matthew 6 (25-34) that talks about not worrying about all the little things and says "do not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Mt. 6:34